i am feeling so blah!

things are getting more and more difficult.

since he is far from me now, it's harder to communicate.
we barely talk. and if we talk, we end up fighting because of small things.
"you are way too busy to talk to me. you have your friendster, your online friends."
i go online because i have nothing to do! he should thank me because i am not going places, i just stay at home for pete's sake!
and is it NOT okay if i say or share my problems to my online friends? he does that all the time! everytime we have difficulties, he shares our problem to maybe a dozen people! these people start texting me "why?" or "kawawa naman sya.." bla bla bla. does it make a difference if i just met them online? it's the same. i treat them as real life friends not just random people i met on the internet! and now that he saw "the" comments on my friendster, he is freaking mad at me because i told my friends our problems.
you can understand why i am this frustrasted, right? errrrr!
why could'nt he understand that THEY ARE MY FRIENDS. nothing more, nothing less!
one more thing, jealousy.
there's nothing to be jealous about! friendster is for socialization, to meet people and to have more friends. it does not mean that if i talk to someone, i'll just dump him right off. oh my fcuking god! i will not replace him! i am not narrow minded! i am not numb! and most certainly, the thing i feel for him is not just infatuation!

okay, SORRY. i am just pissed off now.
i am feeling better.